intensional:

when you finally win a long argument

image

(via trust)

trillow:

*on the phone with police after reporting a murder* no you hang up first

(via blowoffs)

tupacvevo:

tupacvevo:

someone give me a job

image

i was thinking something in retail

(via trust)

jobhaver:

you: that is a nice ass shirt

me: thank you but, to be honest, its called “pants” and not an “ass shirt”

(via trust)

the-dragons-thoughts:

Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees cause its a hoarder. And your house is eventually full of coins. And you are rich. And have a dragon.

(via trust)