piranhabat:

jakemalik:

*drops food on floor*

germs: go get it! quick!

king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule

my favorite thing about this post is that germs have apparently gained enough sentience to develop a form of monarchy

(via gossipinq)

punkrightsactivist:

when my friend told her drug dealer that she was transgender he immediately started using the correct pronouns for her and her parents dont so theres an issue there

(via basement-tssf)

amoying:

amoying:

what do musicians put on their toast?

jam

image

(via trust)

squareclocks:

kushroom:

so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal

Slam me in my tender butthole 


I think I’ve just found my new favorite phrase. 

(via trust)